I didn’t discover my appetite for fiction until, when I turned 7, my family and I moved to New Zealand from the Philippines. I grew up with books but they were always non-fiction and they were usually about science. Libraries existed in Manila but they were hard to get to and there weren’t very many. So when I watched Matilda for the very first time, watching that scene where she took herself to the library made my little brain explode. Here was a place that lets you be anywhere you’d like to go. Here was a home of many homes. I was a proud member of Epsom Library thereafter.
That was significant for me at the time because having to move to a completely different country at that age made me feel like I was a stranger to my own home. Being an immigrant made you find a way to find some semblance of home anywhere you can make it. Stories let me do that.
I felt a kinship with Matilda because she understood how stories can be used for refuge. They are a place for the placeless. They are where you go when you need to heal, to escape, to feel stronger, to feel empowered, or to feel a little less lonely. My appetite and need for stories slowly expanded from books to cinema but it was Matilda that started it all for me. She developed her power of telekinesis by feeding her mind with so much stories and knowledge that it became strong enough to control things outside her mind.
While this is fiction, there is some truth to how feeding the mind can help our interior selves impact and change our exterior world. Even as an adult, a small part of me still thinks that if I consume enough books and movies that I would somehow gain some kind of superpower from it, but I’m content with what stories have given me so far.
Matilda was the seed that later bloomed into the tree of knowledge and imagination I tend to, even to this day. Since I found it extremely difficult to choose just one film that had an impact while I was growing up let me indulge a little bit so I can mention the other films (the fruits that bore from this metaphorical tree) that helped shape who I am today as well as made my life a little easier, just like it did for Matilda.
The Parent Trap (recorded on VHS and rewatched a hundred times) got me through my parent’s divorce when I was 8. Titanic (on free to air TV and later rewatched on DVD) made me first realise that I was gay. I wanted to be with Leo, not be him. I Am Love (Dendy Opera watched alone) helped me be honest with myself about my own sexuality. Holding The Man (the book and then later the film) finally helped me come out.
Haneke’s Funny Games (the US version viewed at Event Bondi Junction with my high school friends who never let me choose a movie ever again) made me realise that there was a person behind the camera in complete control of the viewer, a realisation that sparked my interest in film analysis. Melancholia (watched at Hoyts Fox Studios and the only person in the theatre) made me realise that my anxiety and depression is real. Brief Encounter (watched on a laptop alone in my room) got me out of a bad bout of depression.
That’s just a small part of it and I’m sure most of us have our own trees we can draw up but you can’t have a tree without a seed and Matilda was that for me and I will forever be grateful for it.
Jesue Valle
Jesue Valle is a design graduate from the University of Technology, Sydney. He created the Instagram account Cineshots where he writes capsule reviews on new releases and occasionally, some classic films. He writes longer reviews and film essays on cineshotsblog.com. He is currently writing his first novel.